I’m Vivienne and I’m 18 years old. A week ago I went to a disco because a friend talked me into doing this stupid thing! Well, I thought it would be really fun, but no! I was so bored in the disco that I wanted to leave early. My friend wanted to stay until 3:00 a.m., while I wanted to get out just before midnight. So I left the disco unsuspectingly. I hadn’t drunk anything, so I wasn’t drunk. I knew what I was doing. It was dark, but I wasn’t afraid. Halfway home I met a man, obviously a bum. He was sitting on the bench drinking beer. His clothes were torn and he looked like he had no idea what hygiene was! How disgusting, I thought to myself! “Wait a minute,” he mumbled.
At first, of course, I didn’t understand anything, but after he repeated his request twice, I understood. Of course, I didn’t want to stop at first. No, on the contrary: I wanted to run away, but the bum wouldn’t let me. “You definitely want to be famous, don’t you? I have my contacts,” he said. I flinched. How did he know that I dreamed of becoming famous? Could he read minds? My inner voice warned me about this man. My heart was beating faster and my brain seemed to be blocked. I should have run away, but I stood there as if chained. Become famous? Maybe it was my chance! Now or never! I might never get an opportunity like this again! But how could this bum help me become famous? Could I even believe him?
I wasn’t actually naive, but I was tired and couldn’t think clearly anymore. “Well, how do I know you’re not lying to me? I’m not going to let myself be taken for a fool!” I objected. The man smiled. “You’re stupid if you ignore my offer, sweetheart. I have so many suitors that I don’t need to prove anything. But you are so beautiful and you could become a megastar! I promise you that!” I just frowned because I didn’t know what to believe anymore. “Come on, girl. You just have to be a little nice to me and you’ll be famous!” added the bum. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask what I would be famous for. Never mind, I thought! I thought about becoming famous as a model, but the guy would think of something.
“And? Do you agree?” the man asked me. Without knowing what I was letting myself in for, I nodded. “Now you belong to me,” he grumbled. “Lie down on the bench,” he ordered me. “Remember: you’ll be famous if you do that! This will definitely be over soon!” I tried to calm myself down. I forced myself to lie down on the bench. I was wearing a short, black dress. After all, I had gone to the disco before! The disgusting man pushed up my dress and looked at my thong. He roughly pushed it to the side and stuck a finger in my vagina. I screamed in shock. I expected a… different foreplay! What had I let myself in for? There was no turning back now! I would have to do it to become famous. For myself and for my career! Before I knew it, the man was taking off his pants.
So fast? I looked at him with wide eyes, but didn’t dare say anything. He took off his underwear and showed me his rod. “Lick it!” I heard. Without thinking twice, I put his rod in my mouth. It was huge, at least eight inches. Well, maybe I guessed wrong because I’d never touched a penis before. Of course I’d seen something like that in pictures, but… I was still a virgin! What had gotten into me? I wanted to wait for the right guy! Wasn’t I the one who called girls sluts who got into bed at 14? What was wrong with me? How low must I have sunk? I felt like the biggest slut! I felt like I was going to throw up when the bum stuck his penis deep down my throat.
But soon it was over. I thought he would leave me alone, but he seemed to want more than I was comfortable with. “Hey, hey, hey, not so fast, miss! You won’t become famous with a blowjob, sweetheart! You have to spread your legs!” the bum explained the rules to me. Tears ran down my cheeks. Why on earth was I doing this? Why was I lying here on the bench? If my parents only knew, they would kill me! They were very strict and religious, and sex before marriage was completely out of the question for them. I would have been lost to them, but they would never have to know about it! The man put a finger in my virgin vagina again. “You’re not doing this to have fun, you’re doing it to become famous,” I tried to convince myself that I had a clear conscience.
The bum pulled down my thong and I could already guess what was about to happen. Without taking my feelings into consideration, he put his penis in my pussy. I hoped I would survive! I had to go through with it! Damn, how could I have been so naive? I was no longer five years old, but my mental age was certainly not a big deal. I closed my eyes. I had been looking forward to my first time for ages and now? Now it was going to be torture for me! I had imagined the whole thing differently! My vagina was not yet ready to take in a penis. It still needed to be stretched! I wasn’t even wet, but who cared? I felt something hard penetrate me and tear me apart inside. I thought that everything inside me was going to break.
I was very tight and dry. When the penis hit my hymen, I could hear a laugh: “Oh, a virgin!” It was so embarrassing, but I couldn’t take it back, no matter how humiliating it was. The rod penetrated deep inside me and tore my hymen. It was a horrible, shameful feeling… and it hurt so much. Not just physically, I must say! I felt so dirty! The monster penetrated me deeper and deeper, no matter how loudly I screamed inside. He couldn’t hear the screams and carried on. I thought that the torture would never end, but I hoped that I would become famous now! At some point I felt something warm inside me, but slowly I just didn’t care about anything. I tried to endure it. “Done!” I heard at some point and pulled my thong back up. I pulled my dress down.
Now I stood up. “So, I’m not a liar. I’m going to make you a porn star now.” I thought I wasn’t hearing properly and ran away. “Wait!” shouted the bum, but I ran for my life. Porn star? Never! The bum’s sperm ran down my legs! Damn, he actually inseminated me! And I wasn’t even on the pill! I was completely frustrated and took a taxi. It was worth the twenty euros. Why did I listen to my girlfriend? If I hadn’t gone to that stupid disco, I’d still be a virgin! The taxi driver dropped me off at my front door! I opened it and went in. My parents were already waiting for me. “What happened, honey?” my mother asked me.
My father looked very sad, and when my mother saw the blood and semen on my legs, she tried to make sense of it all. My mascara was smeared and tears were streaming down my cheeks. It was so embarrassing! Why didn’t I wash off the semen and blood? I must have been so broken that I couldn’t do it. My parents cried. “We’re going to report the pig!” shouted my father. My parents probably thought I had been raped. I didn’t dare say anything. It was all just so… embarrassing. I felt like I was in a nightmare, but I just didn’t wake up! It was horrible! I actually sold my body… for an obviously empty promise! Porn star? That was all I needed! I already felt dirty. That’s what the pig must have expected!
Such a… Well, it was my own fault! I shouldn’t have been so naive. My mother tried to console me, but if she knew the truth, she would probably throw me out of the house! Why did I do that, why?
